Conversation With an 8-Year-Old: Scientific Quantification Edition

A: Scientists are trying to prove that chinchillas are the softest animals, but they're just wrong. Bunnies are.

Conversation With an 8-Year-Old: Undead Edition

A, breaking a toothpick in half and making the sign of the cross with it: Back, tiny vampire!!

Conversation With an 8-Year-Old: Morning Breath Edition

A [upon emerging from his bedroom after sleeping till 11, following our late night arrival in Lima]: I washed my mouth out.

Me [sniffing]: With that Peruvian mouthwash? I thought that stuff was terrible.

A: Yeah, but my mouth was worse.

Me: Well, after all that -

A: - tropical air.

Me: I was going to say "sleep".

A: Tropical air does make your breath worse.