Dad: So, what's the capital of Canada?
J + A: Ottawa!
Dad: And Manitoba?
J + A: Winnipeg!
Dad: And the Yukon?
J: Whitehorse!
Dad: And China?
A: San Diego!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Conversation With an 8-Year-Old: Disappointment Edition
J: They cancelled pajama day at school.
Me: Oh, that's a real shame. That would have been fun. Do you know why it was cancelled?
J: No.
A: And they cancelled mine, too!
J: Mom, do you get a pajama day?
Me: Where? At my work?
J: Yes.
Me: No.
J [dejectedly]: Yeah. Neither do we.
Me: Oh, that's a real shame. That would have been fun. Do you know why it was cancelled?
J: No.
A: And they cancelled mine, too!
J: Mom, do you get a pajama day?
Me: Where? At my work?
J: Yes.
Me: No.
J [dejectedly]: Yeah. Neither do we.
Conversation With a 6-Year-Old: Reuse Edition
Me: Okay, guys, I collected the newspapers from the new house. They were all piled up by the fireplace. We can use them for wrapping glasses.
Dad: You're lucky they weren't burned already.
A: Oh! I know what we can do with the newspapers after we're done using them to wrap things.
Me: What's that?
A: We can tear them into strips and make gerbil blankets!
Dad: You're lucky they weren't burned already.
A: Oh! I know what we can do with the newspapers after we're done using them to wrap things.
Me: What's that?
A: We can tear them into strips and make gerbil blankets!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Conversation With the Boys: Pep Talk Edition
J: How did your exam go yesterday?
M: Mmm, not that great, but I think it was okay.
J: How many questions did you get right?
M: I don't know - they haven't marked it yet.
J: Do you think you passed?
M: I think so. I have another one on Thursday.
J [chanting]: Go Mommy Go! Go Mommy Go! I want you to be a lawyer! I want you to be a lawyer! Go Mommy Go!
A [entering the room]: You want Mom to go?
J: No, "go" like "win".
A: Ohhh. [chanting] Win Mommy Win! Win your exam!
J + A: We want you to be a laaaaw-yer!
M: Mmm, not that great, but I think it was okay.
J: How many questions did you get right?
M: I don't know - they haven't marked it yet.
J: Do you think you passed?
M: I think so. I have another one on Thursday.
J [chanting]: Go Mommy Go! Go Mommy Go! I want you to be a lawyer! I want you to be a lawyer! Go Mommy Go!
A [entering the room]: You want Mom to go?
J: No, "go" like "win".
A: Ohhh. [chanting] Win Mommy Win! Win your exam!
J + A: We want you to be a laaaaw-yer!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Conversation With an 8-Year-Old: Cost-Benefit Edition
Me: J, why don't you and your brother like the tooth fairy?
J: Because if we put our tooths under the pillow, you just throw them away in the garbage.
Me: But you get money for your teeth ...
J: Yeah, and then you throw them away! And after all this work we put into them. We clean them, and brush them, and make them nice and shiny, and then you just throw them away! If you bought them and then took care of them, that would be different.
Me: Okay, it's not really a purchase.
J: You want the tooths, I'll sell them to you if you promise not to throw them out.
Me: Yeah ... you can keep them.
J: Because if we put our tooths under the pillow, you just throw them away in the garbage.
Me: But you get money for your teeth ...
J: Yeah, and then you throw them away! And after all this work we put into them. We clean them, and brush them, and make them nice and shiny, and then you just throw them away! If you bought them and then took care of them, that would be different.
Me: Okay, it's not really a purchase.
J: You want the tooths, I'll sell them to you if you promise not to throw them out.
Me: Yeah ... you can keep them.
Conversation With a 6-Year-Old: Old Fogey Edition
A: B and C and all the other boys at school are making jokes about doing "it".
Me: I'm sure they are. That's what kids at school do.
A: But, do you know what "it" is?
Me: Yes, yes I do.
A: Really?!
Me: Yes, I know what it means to do "it".
[A leaves the room]
[A pokes head into the room some time later]
A: It just means to do with S -- E -- X!
Me: Yes, I know that. People have been calling it "it" since before I was born. Possibly a lot longer than that.
A: Really? Wow.
Me: I'm sure they are. That's what kids at school do.
A: But, do you know what "it" is?
Me: Yes, yes I do.
A: Really?!
Me: Yes, I know what it means to do "it".
[A leaves the room]
[A pokes head into the room some time later]
A: It just means to do with S -- E -- X!
Me: Yes, I know that. People have been calling it "it" since before I was born. Possibly a lot longer than that.
A: Really? Wow.
Conversation With My Boys: Obligations Edition
J: Mom, I heard at school that when you're in Grade 6, you have to ...
Me: Yes?
J: Well, that you have to ...
Me: Have to what?
J: You have to when you're in Grade 6 take a girl out and dance with her.
Me: No, you definitely are under no obligation to do that in Grade 6.
J: Oh. Okay. I didn't think you had to. It was just what they said.
A: I didn't believe them at school, Mom. I believe you.
[I win!]
Me: Yes?
J: Well, that you have to ...
Me: Have to what?
J: You have to when you're in Grade 6 take a girl out and dance with her.
Me: No, you definitely are under no obligation to do that in Grade 6.
J: Oh. Okay. I didn't think you had to. It was just what they said.
A: I didn't believe them at school, Mom. I believe you.
[I win!]
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