Conversation With an 8-Year-Old: Scientific Quantification Edition

A: Scientists are trying to prove that chinchillas are the softest animals, but they're just wrong. Bunnies are.

Conversation With an 8-Year-Old: Undead Edition

A, breaking a toothpick in half and making the sign of the cross with it: Back, tiny vampire!!

Conversation With an 8-Year-Old: Morning Breath Edition

A [upon emerging from his bedroom after sleeping till 11, following our late night arrival in Lima]: I washed my mouth out.

Me [sniffing]: With that Peruvian mouthwash? I thought that stuff was terrible.

A: Yeah, but my mouth was worse.

Me: Well, after all that -

A: - tropical air.

Me: I was going to say "sleep".

A: Tropical air does make your breath worse.

Conversation With a 10-Year-Old: Adaptation Edition

J, in Lima: I'm tired. Must be the altitude.

Me: There is no altitude. We're at sea level.

J: Huh. Must be the weather, then.

Conversation With An 8-Year-Old: Twue Wuv Edition

[we've just finished watching the bride and groom's first dance at a wedding]

A: That was what I call one hundred percent romance.

Conversation With an 8-Year-Old: Angelina Jolie Edition

A (watching Tomb Raider on TV): She smiles like crazy.

[she hasn't smiled that much]

Me: You mean, she smiles a lot? Or like she's crazy?

A: ... both.

Conversation With an 8-Year-Old: Double Meaning Edition

A (on the bus): Willow Street? There's a Willow Street? Willow's a kind of tree!

Me: Yeah, a lot of streets in Vancouver are named after trees. Like Oak Street.

A: Oh, yeah! But ... that's Heather Street. Heather's a girl's name.

Me: And a kind of plant, actually.

A: Ash Street? Ash isn't a tree.

Me: Actually, it is. Ash is the name of a kind of tree.

A: Ash is what you get when you burn a tree.